Features by Type: Fiction

A Man of Forty: "Not bad...almost as good as new!"
Andy Pop Stories: The story that's never the same story twice!
Angst Among the Whores: One fine night in Nairobi...
Apopalypse Now: Bitter war story from an unpopped balloon.
Busy Mr. Stupid: A very busy man does some very stupid things.
Count Dracula's Journal: Finally, Dracula gets to tell his side.
Doctor Schoneboom on the Campus: In which author John Baker carves out a new theatrical genre and his own immortal niche within it.
Dr. Bollocks' Guide to Impressive Sex: Special correspondent Dr. Anthony Bollocks offers his scientific insights on unseemly topics.
Dreams of Jimmy Bannon: Jimmy Bannon is back, and this time he's a character in a one-act play. Winner of the Massachusetts Cultural Council 2001 Fellowship Award for playwriting (yes, really).
Extracts from Mrs Poppycock's Diary, Part II: I says, bleeding hell I would've been better serviced by that nice young man down at the Building Society.
Extracts from Mrs. Poppycock's Diary: I says to our Regina, she's an arsehole, you'll never need ten rolls of paper for that room.
Falling Short: The second in the Bonkworld series of performance billiard poetry sees John go down in five pathos-laden games to his arch rival.
Fontoon: An early excerpt from the novel, featuring Admiral Fontoon and his continuing quest to get out of bed.
Hemingway's Toilet: The night Hemingway was my roommate
Jarmusch Got My Robot: I'm telling you, the guy's been stalking me.
Jimmy Bannon Quote Generator: Random words of wisdom from the myth himself.
More Poetry of Meat Gizmo: More meaty stylings from the Gizmaster
The Baudelaire 7000 Poetry Machine: Not all randomly generated poetry is created equal.
The Comeback: The first installment of the Bonkworld performance billiard poetry series.
The Dream of Stickyman: He's a superhero; he's just not very strong. A sticky excerpt from the novel "Fontoon."
The Grumpy Giant: Yes, even giants have bad days...
The Incomprehensible Sportswriting of Jimmy Bannon: Breslin, Mailer, and their ilk couldn't carry this man's Olivetti. If you can figure out what he's on about, call the office.
The Poetry of Meat Gizmo: We dragged him out of the pool hall and beat him with flank steaks until he emitted poetry.
Vampiro, or, The Limits of Dogs: He was Romanian. He was drunk. He told this story.
Why We Lost: An all-purpose explanation that can be adapted for use wherever excuses are called for.