Simone de Beauvoir had it right when she said that society
produces in woman effects so profound that they appear to
spring from her original nature. In other words, many women
believe that they are naturally crap at pool.
We have had no trouble smashing through the glass ceiling
in our loud, shoulder-padded suits, we've climbed Everest
and joined the lads in space, but the pool hall remains elusively
beyond our feminine grasp. So steeped is it in cigar smoke
and pork pie hats, hard liquor and rolled up shirt sleeves
that we feel girly and inadequate as soon as we walk in. It's
a man's world and we let the men call the shots, allowing
them to bombard us with unsolicited advice as we cower over
our pool cues.
The worst thing is that even a relatively experienced female
player never completely gets over the feeling that she is
an intruder and a charlatan. Pool is a game of nerves where
the slightest notion of unworthiness can knock you right off
your game. Women players have a psychological battle to fight
just to stay in the game. By contrast, a man who has never
been in a pool hall and has perhaps only seen Paul Newman
playing pool in The Hustler, already has the head stuff
well in hand. He believes that he can play pool because playing
pool is what men do. When he picks up a pool cue for the first
time he does it with the ease and confidence of a pro. You
just don't see men in pool halls giggling and apologising
and asking for advice on how to hold the stick.
There is some shit to sort out here. Let's get it straight:
There is nothing about a woman's center of gravity or her
eyesight or her manual dexterity that prevents her from knocking
balls into holes. Pool is for girls.
So, we admit it. There is nothing between us and poolsharkdom.
But, how exactly do we go about conquering the pool hall?
The simple steps in this pamphlet offer a quick and easy guide
that will help you get over the worst. First you will learn
to dress right, then you'll learn to act 'as if,' naturally
deterring your male opponent from interfering with your game
and, finally, you'll learn a few "affirmative action"
tricks that will help to undo the years of oppression and
put-downs that have so damaged your pool-playing ability.
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