John Schoneboom is often asked by a particular six-year-old boy to provide quiz questions to relieve the monotony of a metro ride. As a result, Schoneboom studies, Schoneboom knows things. Alpha Centauri? 4.2 lightyears. And it's three stars, not one.
Most of the time John goes to great lengths to rescue household insects and put them outside. Still, once in a while it's like, screw it; he just squashes them. Then he feels bad and remembers the poor little guy for quite a while.
He's sincerely apologetic about having ever hurt anyone's feelings, ever. If he had that to do over again, whatever it was, he'd be certain to go about it less stupidly and with a good deal more kindness.
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: